The Vogon Poetry Generator
- S.R. Laing
- May 21
- 1 min read
for fans of Douglas Adams
This is a poetry engine inspired by the gloriously hostile bureaucratic anti-poetry of the Vogons from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Built for:
Douglas Adams fans
literature nerds
ML tinkerers
anyone who enjoys absurdism
Editorial Notice I.
No actual books or texts of Douglas Adam's or any author was used in this project. The putrid unpleasantness of the generated text is achieved completely through a collection of hand built lexicon's plucked from publicly available Vogon lore, entwined with layers of distortion, corruption, and bureaucratic interuptions.
This project combines a bunch of techie stuff to generate poetry that is delightfully:
pompous
administratively swollen
emotionally hazardous
cosmically unpleasant
The system intentionally mutates otherwise coherent poetry
complete with:
bureaucratic rewrites
interruptions
phonetic ugliness
procedural sludge injection
escalating corruption layers
This software may cause:
administrative confusion
cognitive residue
procedural despair
involuntary appreciation of anti-poetry
Use responsibly.
Resistance is useless!
Fork it. Mutate it. Make it worse.
The Vogons would expect nothing less.
Grab it from Dark Folio’s Repo Below
On my cat ignoring me
In the labyrinthine corridors of feline indifference, there sprawls — oozular
An epidermis of fur, resplendent yet defiant, omnipresent, like a compliance pudding under compliance protocol —
prostetnic
Obliviously disengaged from my woeful solicitude and utterances, under subsection 88-B
Each ethereal whisker a silent decree, a bureaucratic snub, under departmental authorization —
muculon, notwithstanding the mucus-oriented procedural appendix
under departmental authorization —
blort, notwithstanding the mucus-oriented procedural appendix
[ARCHIVAL ALERT: Bureaucratic despair improperly formatted.] under subsection 88-B — phlegm
like a nebular sludge under compliance protocol — vrakth
[COMPLIANCE WARNING: Unauthorized beauty detected and quarantined.] under interstellar audit —
splort
Behold! The existential paperwork, encased in a purring paradox, — phlegm
Of eligibility seeking, yet…
Hahaha! It’s awful!
On a cold cup of tea
Beneath the frosty gaze of tea-stained porcelain quintessence, like a compliance pudding under procedural correction
Where lukewarm embrace flails against bureaucratic lethargy, under interstellar audit —
snorbulous
Dimensional disturbance of aqueous depressions manifests, like a compliance pudding — sludgification
In a tepid symposium of asterisks dappling liquidic neglect, under procedural correction —
thrombulax
As I collide with fragrant resignation in stagnant discontent, like a mucus under compliance protocol
Fueling the cosmic drift of thermodynamic inertia, like a filing residue under galactic memorandum — muculon
— blort
[WARNING: Emotional resonance exceeds legal threshold.] under taxonomic grief report — grunth, notwithstanding the mucus-oriented procedural appendix
With each shuddering sip, entropy cradles my caffeinated…